Causing an accident by running a yellow or soon to be red light will definately be more costly than waiting the two minutes for the green.

Clue #5 For keeping your head out of your ass.
When changing multiple lanes, use your friggin blinker AND only change one lane at a time!
We know a villiage idiot who actually tested this out on a police officer and asked him about it. His reply, "Taking the time to pause in a lane before moving to a second or third will save you a couple hundred dollars for improper lane change, and signing this does not constitute admission of your guilt sir." Gee, thanks.

Clue #6 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Turn your lights on Bubba!
Yea, the things that help other people see you in the dark. Yea, they invented it, really!

Clue #7 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Did you forget to take your friggin medicine?
You friggin snowbirds who love to show off your flatlander license plates. If your an elderly person or someone who takes meds, don't drive if the bottle says "May cause dizziness". Damn, If I took half the pills in your medicine chest I'd be stonned all day! Trust us, you cannot compensate dissiness by swerving left to right.

Clue #8 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Hey, either the phone or the makeup babe! Oh, and you definately needed the makeup!
Ha, ha...

Clue #9 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Get a room! Stop having sex while driving please!
Believe it or not, it happens more than you think! And for everyone else, watch the road, and not the idiots having sex.

Clue #10 For keeping your head out of your ass.
We don't care how fast your front wheel drive, junky Lexus is!
It seems that every ass that ever left somewhere to get out of town, showed up in Tucson and Phoenix.

Clue #11 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Riding my ass will only make me slower!
Yea, we see you behind us! I think i'll slow down a bit next time. Politely, flash your high beams in order to signal that you want to pass, and don't tailgate.

Clue #12 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Who gives a shit about the friggin rabbit!
This had to be the funniest of all, a woman in Southern Arizona who constantly slams on the brakes and/or swerves into oncoming traffic with her family in the car all because the wittle bunny wan into the woadway.

Clue #13 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Use Rain-X!
Arizona roads can be treacherous in the rain, Rain-X can litterally save your life and allow you to see quite clearly in the rain, especially at night during monsoon season. But that does not mean slamming on the breaks for every puddle you see dammit! Just use caution.

Clue #14 For keeping your head out of your ass.
ABSOLUTELY do not leave children or animals in the car, not even for a minute!
This is about as big of a bonehead decision that anyone can make. When you come out of the store, you better hope pray that the police are there to arrest you, because in Arizona it is common practice for someone to clank your friggin jaw before they get there! Yea, we know, sensitive subject but it happens, unfortunately.

Clue #15 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Bring plenty of water and a blanket.
Even a flat tire will leave you roasting in the desert sun for a pit stop. Keeping water in your trunk, even if its warm it will keep you hydrated. Keeping a blanket in the trunk incase you are stranded will keep you from freezing. Yes, you can freeze in the desert. Especially when the daytime temps are above 80 but clear evenings in the winter months can reach as low as the 20's or 30's. Hypothermia, is quite common in the desert!

Clue #16 For keeping your head out of your ass.
It does not matter how many Hilary Clinton bumper stickers you put on your car. Were not voting for her!
Should one family be allowed to serve four terms!

Clue #17 For keeping your head out of your ass.
You did not yield getting onto the highway, then you cut me off, and I get flipped off? No... F$%* You!
Enough said?

Clue #18 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Shut that thing off and take the bus!
Believe it or not, some defects in the gene pool still allow their cars to spew thick clouds of smoke, including dump trucks, commercial vehicles, and the busses! Which is worse, the driver of the smelly bus or the politicians who allow it?

Clue #19 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Stop reading and pay attention!
Why is it that some people choose to read while they drive? Read this! Is a common regional gesture.

Clue #20 For keeping your head out of your ass.
Study the above clues and tips for keeping your head out of your ass for at least 30 days and pass this list along to someone else and a miriacle will happen to you!

Yes you! This is guranteed and tested by non-existant email tracking schematics and gobs of specialized brown stuff... What is it? How will you know this miriacle has happened?

You will hear a really big POP! And that will be your head, finally coming out of your ass!

Drive safely and remember a friendly wave, using all of your fingers, prevents road rage.